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Lyrics for A Lap Dance is So Much Better When the Stripper is Crying by Gang Bloodhound:
| | | Artist: | Gang Bloodhound |
| | Album: | Hooray for Boobies | | Track: | A Lap Dance is So Much Better When the Stripper is Crying | | | | Date Added: | 18/10/2007 | | Views: | 282 | | | | Lyrics: | I was lonelier than Kunta Kinte at a Merle Haggard concert
That night I strolled on into Uncle
Limpy's Hump Palace lookin' for love.
It had been a while.
In fact, three hundred and
sixty-five had come and went
since that midnight run haulin' hog to Shakey Town on I-10.
I
had picked up this hitchhiker that was sweatin' gallons
through a pair of Daisy Duke cut-offs
and one of those Fruit Of The Loom tank-tops.
Well, that night I lost myself to ruby red
lips,
milky white skin and baby blue eyes.
Name was Russell.
Yes, a lap
dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the
stripper is cryin'
Well I find it's quite a thrill
When she grinds me against her
will
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Well,
faster than you can say, "shallow grave",
this pretty little thing come up to me and starts
kneadin' my balls
like hard-boiled eggs in a tube sock.
Said her name was Bambi and I
said, "Well that's a coincidence darlin',
‘cause I was just thinkin' about skinnin' you
like a deer."
Well she smiled, had about as much teeth as a Jack-O-Lantern,
and I went on
to tell her how I would wear her face like a mask
as I do my little kooky dance.
And then
she told me to shush.
I guess she could sense my desperation.
‘Course, it's hard to
hide a hard-on when you're dressed like Minnie Pearl.
Yes, a lap dance is so much
better when the stripper is cryin'
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is
cryin'
Well I find it's quite a thrill
When she grinds me against her will
Yes, a lap
dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
So, Bambi's goin' on about how
she can make all my fantasies come true.
So I says, "Even this one I have where Jesus
Christ
is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole
with a lawn dart as Garth Brooks
gives birth to something
resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus's
tummy-tum?"
Well, ten beers, twenty minutes and thirty dollars later
I'm parkin' the beef
bus in tuna town if you know what I mean.
Got to nail her back at her trailer.
Heh. That
rhymes.
I have to admit it was even more of a turn-on
when I found out she was doin' me to
buy baby formula.
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is
cryin'
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Well I find it's
quite a thrill
When she grinds me against her will
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when
the stripper is cryin'
Day or so had passed when I popped the clutch,
gave the
tranny a spin and slid on into
The Stinky Pinky Gulp N' Guzzle Big Rig
Snooze-A-Stop.
There I was browsin' through the latest issue of "Throb",
when I saw Bambi
starin' at me from the back of a milk carton.
Well, my heart just dropped.
So, I decided
to do what any good Christian would.
You can not imagine how difficult it is to hold a half
gallon of moo juice
and polish the one-eyed gopher when your doin' seventy-five
in an
eighteen-wheeler.
I never thought missing children could be so sexy.
Did I say that out
loud?
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Yes, a
lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Well I find it's quite a
thrill
When she grinds me against her will
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the
stripper is cryin | | | |
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