| Lyrics: | Let's meet contestant number one
He's a scitzophrenic, serial killer clown
Who says, women
love his sexy smile
Let's find out if his charm will work on Sharon
Sharon, what's your
question?
Contestant number one,
I believe first impressions last forever
So
let's say you were to come over to my parent's house
And have dinner with me and my
family
Tell me what you would do to make
That first impression really
stick
Let's see, uh, well, I'd have to think about it
I might show up in a tux, HA!,
but I doubt it
I'd probably just show up naked like I always do
And look your momma in the
eye and tell her, FUCK YOU!!!
Hurry up bitch, I'm hungry, I smell spaghetti
I'd pinch her
limpy ass and tell her, "Get the food ready!"
Your dad will probably start tripping and get me
pissed
I'd have to walk up and bust him in his fucking lips!
It's dinner time, we hearing
grace from your mother
I pull a forty out and pour some for your little brother
I'm steady
staring at your sister, I'll tell you this
You know for only 13, she got some big
tits
After that, your dad will try to jump again
And only this time, I'd put the forty to
his chin
After your mom does the dishes and the silverware
I'd dry-fuck her till I nut in
my underwear
Now, let's meet contestant number two
He's a psychopathic, deranged,
crackhead freak
Who works for the Dark Carnival
He says women call him "stretch
nuts"
Sharon, let's hear your question
I like a man who's not afraid to show his
true emotions
A man who expresses himself in his own special way
Number two, if you fell
in love with me
Exactly how would you let me know?
First thing, I could never love
you
You sound like a richie-bitch, yo, FUCK YOU!!!
But if I did, I'd probably show you
that I care
By taking all these other motherfuckers outta here
I'd go through your phone
book and whack em all
And find contestant number one and break his fucking jaw
(what?!)
Anyone who looked at you, would have to pay
I'd be blowing fucking nuggets off
all day
I'd grab your titties and stretch em down past your waist
Let em go, and watch em
both spring up in your face
I'd sing love songs to you, the best I can
Get you naked, and
hit it like a CAVEMAN!!!
When we go to the beach and walk through the sand
I throw a
little in your face and say, I'm just playin
As you spit it all out, I'd rub your back
And
grab your underwear and wedge it up your ass crack!!
Well it sounds like contestant
number two
Is just over-flowing with sensativity, Sharon
It's a tough choice so
far
Sharon, let's have your last question and
See which one is going to win the rights to
your neden
Okay, if we were at a dance club, and you both noticed me at the
same
time. Tell me, how would you each get my attention, and what would
your pick up line be? Well,
whoever's the smoothest wins!
Okay, first I'd slide up to the bar
And tell you that
I can't believe how fucking fat you are
I'd tell that I like the way you make your titties
shake
And if you lost a little weight, you'd look like Rikki Lake!
Fuck that, you'd
be jacking me quick
I'd order you a drink and stir it with my dick
And then to get your
attention in the crowded place
I'd simply walk up and stick my nuts in your
face
Yeah, freak with your nuts, yo, that'll get her
Tell her that's she fat, yeah,
that'll work even better
Look, fuck you, I got a strong rap
Shit, you don't want
contestant number two
He's mad-wack
I walk into a barn and there he
was
Standing up on a bucket, eww, trying to fuck it
It was a big fucking smelly, ass farm
llama
Damn dawg! how you gonna diss your momma |
