| Lyrics: | 1st verse:]
I hate to brag about my fam'ly but I must say that
My father is the greatest
man who ever wore a hat
He always took things easy in an easy sort of way
And when it came
to taking things, just kindly let me say
[1st chorus:]
No one could do it like my
father!
Ever clever, stunning, cunning father!
Other men might do the same
But when
it came to make a name
No one could do it like my dad!
[2nd verse:]
At keeping
servant girls, my father always was an ace!
He had a certain way to keep the ladies in their
place
Their place was in the kitchen and his place to keep them there
I don't know how he
did it but I really must declare
[2nd chorus:]
No one could do it like my
father
Ever clever, stunning, cunning father
Servants liked the cops, of course
So
father joined the police force
No one could do it like my dad
[3rd verse:]
One
night papa went in to see that great Salome dance
You talk about attention, say! he gave her
ev'ry glance
He has my mother dancing now, her brain is in a whirl
And only here last week
he came home with a string of pearls
[3rd chorus:]
No one could do it like my
father
Ever clever, stunning, cunning father
Now he always stays at home
Mama has
learned that dance Salome
No one could do it like my dad
[4th verse:]
My mother
weighs three hundred pounds but don't give it away
She bought a brand new sheath gown and she
wore it yesterday
My father showed his dignity when mother showed her sock
Then just to
make the two ends meet he used a big padlock
[4th chorus:]
No one could do it like
my father
Ever clever, stunning, cunning father
Neighbor Jones and his neighbor
Lee
Are hunting for my father's key
And no one could do it like my dad
[5th
verse:]
I haven't told you how my father and my mother wed
She was an old maid, he a
burglar underneath her bed
She flashed a gun at father and said, "I must be your wife"
My
father wears a medal now for saving someone's life
[5th chorus:]
No one could do it
like my father
Ever clever, stunning, cunning father
Mother thinks a lot of pa
But
father drinks to think of ma
And no one could do it like my dad
[6th
chorus:]
The other night when pa came home, he found to his surprise
The iceman and my
mother on the sofa making eyes
He did not get excited, no! not one word did he say
But
when the iceman's bill came due, papa refused to pay
[6th chorus:]
No one could do
it like my father
Ever clever, stunning, cunning father
Father proved he was no
slouch
He fooled them all when he sold the couch
And no one could do it like my
dad
[7th verse:]
When father went to school they tell me he was very bad
They
also say he had a purpose to make teacher mad
She'd make him stay in after school and pa would
ne'er refuse
For when it came to helping teacher tie her dainty shoes:
[7th
chorus:]
No one could do it like my father
Ever clever, stunning, cunning
father
Teacher knew a thing or two
She always wore a low cut shoe
No one could do it
like my dad
[8th verse:]
We lived right by a railway station not so far from
here
And father would make faces at the passing engineers
They'd all throw coal at father,
yes they would upon my soul
And when the winter came around we never needed
coal
[8th chorus:]
No one could do it like my father
Ever clever, stunning,
cunning father
First he got coal one by one
And now he sells it by the ton
And no one
could do it like my dad
[9th verse:]
Around election time my father never knows his
name
Sometimes it's Breen, or Smith, or Green, Gilhouley or McShane
Then other times it's
Harrigan, O'Connor, or O'Dell
They ought to call him "Winchester" 'cause he repeats so
well
[9th chorus:]
No one could do it like my father
Ever clever, stunning,
cunning father
When you see him change his coat
You know that means another vote
And
no one could do it like my dad |
