| Lyrics: | Grow, Mrs. Goldfarb, Grow
Grow, Mrs. Goldfarb, fatter, fatter.
Pile the potatoes on
your platter.
Listen to me, 'cause I'm your hubby.
I just adore you plump and
chubby.
I got a letter from the state, Dear.
You're gonna need a license plate,
Dear.
My little elephant joke come true.
Chew, Mrs. Goldfarb, chew!
There is so
much more of you,
More to adore of you,
'Cause you're not slender.
In your white
dress, you're a doll,
Big as the Taj Mahal,
In all its splendor.
When you're in
department stores,
Don't use revolving doors,
You might get stuck, Dear.
When you use
the telephone,
Go in the booth alone,
And lots of luck, Dear.
You had for
breakfast: two pounds bacon,
Three dozen eggs, one coffee cake, and
Then you had something
really awful,
Four kippered herrings on a waffle.
Nine English muffins, one baked
apple,
Boston cream pie, Philadelphia scrapple.
Seventeen bowls of Crispy
Crunch.
Then you said, "What's for lunch?"
Sweetheart, you are giant size.
You
are Lane Bryant size,
My darling Myrtle.
Last Thanksgiving I was thrilled.
You ate so
much, you killed
Your living girdle.
Have another dozen shrimp,
My lovely little
blimp.
Don't count a calorie.
I have just received a stub.
I owe the Diner's
Club
A whole year's salary.
Eat, Mrs. Goldfarb, daily, nightly.
Eat, though
your chair is bending slightly.
Love of my life, I'm glad I found you,
Each day I take a
walk around you.
I can't forget when we got married.
Over the threshhold I got
carried.
No other bride would be so sweet.
Eat, Mrs. Goldfarb, Eat |
