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Lyrics for Railroad Bill And The Kitten by Unknown:
| | | Artist: | Unknown |
| | Album: | Unknown | | Track: | Railroad Bill And The Kitten | | | | Date Added: | 18/10/2007 | | Views: | 142 | | | | Lyrics: | Railroad Bill and the Kitten
SOURCE: Bob Pfeffer
SOURCE'S SOURCE:
Andy Breckman
TEXT:
Railroad Bill was a hard livin' man
He used to take
his women two at a time
Everyone agreed he was the baddest engineer
That'd ever driven
down the Santa Fe line
His name was known from the folks back home
To the tippy-top
of telegraph hill
And all the little boys, when they were sneakin' cigarettes
They used to
dream about the Railroad Bill
[SPOKEN: Stay with me here
One day Bill was walkin'
along
And he saw a kitten stuck in a tree
When he saw what was the matter he ran to get a
ladder
To set that kitty-cat free
And Bill said, "No, ain't gonna do it
Ain't
gonna climb up no tree
This is a stupid, stupid song and no folksinger's
Gonna make a fool
outa me."
I said, one day Bill was walkin' along
And he saw a kitten stuck in a
tree
When he saw what was the matter he ran to get a ladder
To set that kitty-cat
free
And Bill said, "No, ain't gonna do it
Ain't gonna do what you said
This is
an asinine song. As far as I'm concerned
That cat can stay there till it's dead."
I said,
wait a minute, Bill, you can't argue with me
For God's sake, I just made you up
I got the
pen in my hand, I want you up in that tree
I want that cat unstuck
Bill said, "No, I
hate cats
Ain't gonna climb for no cat."
He said, "Why don't you have me save some
beautiful girl
Whos's been tied down on the railroad track?"
I said maybe there'll
be room in the eighth or ninth verse
But right now I want you up in that tree
I'm the
writer, God damn, I got the pen in my hand
And you're supposed to listen to me
He
said, "You asshole. Why should I listen to you
You should be listenin' to me instead."
He
said, "I'm a railroad man and if I was real
I would separate your face from your
head."
You ungrateful brute, I cried, you push me too far
I gotta show you I can do as I
please
So an earthquake came and it shook the whole terrain
And it brought Railroad Bill
to his knees
And then a tidal wave broke and everything got soaked
And Bill was
almost completely washed away
And then a big green monster from the planet Neptune
Landed
and bit Railroad Bill on the leg
I got the pen in my hand. I can do what I want
I'm
a bright new young talent on the rise
So get your ass up that tree or I swear you
ain't
Gonna get outa my folksong alive
He said, "You don't scare me.
You might
be crazy but you don't scare me
And if you don't leave me alone I'm gonna tell
everybody
Where you stole this melody."
But before he could speak his tongue fell
out
And he could not make a sound
Suddenly he jumped on top of me and he grabbed me by the
neck
And he pulled me to the ground
And he hit me in the stomach, and he hit me in
the face real hard
And I think he almost broke my nose
But just then a lightning bolt came
outa nowhere, hit him right between the
[eyes
And killed him instantly
[Heh, heh
Well the cat came
down from the tree
Had a bowl of warm milk, went to sleep for the night
Railroad Bill is
survived by a wife and three small children
Dear God, I love to write
@outlaw
@animal
filename[ RRBILLKT
RPf
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