| Lyrics: | Well, I was feelin' sad and feelin' blue,
I didn't know what in the world I was gonna
do,
Them Communists they wus comin' around,
They wus in the air,
They wus on the
ground.
They wouldn't gimme no peace. . .
So I run down most hurriedly
And joined
up with the John Birch Society,
I got me a secret membership card
And started off a-walkin'
down the road.
Yee-hoo, I'm a real John Bircher now!
Look out you Commies!
Now we
all agree with Hitlers' views,
Although he killed six million Jews.
It don't matter too much
that he was a Fascist,
At least you can't say he was a Communist!
That's to say like if you
got a cold you take a shot of malaria.
Well, I wus lookin' everywhere for them gol-darned
Reds.
I got up in the mornin' 'n' looked under my bed,
Looked in the sink, behind the
door,
Looked in the glove compartment of my car.
Couldn't find 'em . . .
I wus
lookin' high an' low for them Reds everywhere,
I wus lookin' in the sink an' underneath the
chair.
I looked way up my chimney hole,
I even looked deep inside my toilet bowl.
They
got away . . .
Well, I wus sittin' home alone an' started to sweat,
Figured they wus
in my T.V. set.
Peeked behind the picture frame,
Got a shock from my feet, hittin' right up
in the brain.
Them Reds caused it!
I know they did . . . them hard-core ones.
Well,
I quit my job so I could work alone,
Then I changed my name to Sherlock Holmes.
Followed
some clues from my detective bag
And discovered they wus red stripes on the American
flag!
That ol' Betty Ross . . .
Well, I investigated all the books in the
library,
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