| Lyrics: | Host Intro)
Let's meet contestant #1
He's a schitzophrenic serial killer clown
Who
says women love his sexy smile.
Let's find out if his charm will work on Sharon.
Sharon,
what's your question?
(Sharon)
Contestant #1, I believe first impressions last
forever,
So let's say you were to come over to my parents' house
And have dinner with me
and my family.
Tell me what you'd do to make that first impression really
stay.
Let's see, hmm, well I'd have to think about it
I might show up in a tux, ha!
But I doubt it.
I'd probably just show up naked like I always do
And look your mama in the
eye and tell her fuck you!
Hurry up bitch I'm hungry, I smell spaghetti,
I'd pinch her
limpy ass and tell her get the food ready!
Your dad would probably start trippin and get me
pissed
I'd have to walk up and bust him in his fuckin lips!
It's dinner time, we're hearin
grace from your mother
I pull a 40 out and pour some for your little brother
I'm standing
staring at your sister, I'll tell you this
You know for only 13 she got some big
tits!
After that, your dad would try to jump again
And only this time I'd put the 40 to
his chin!
After your mom does the dishes and the silverware,
I'd try to fuck her till I
nut in my underwear!!!!
(Host)
Now let's meet contestant #2,
He's a psycopathic
derranged crackhead freak
Who works in the Dark Carnival.
He says women call him Stretch
Nuts.
Sharon, let's hear your question.
(Sharon)
I like a man who's not afraid
to show his true emotions,
A man who expresses himself in his own special way
#2, if you
fell in love with me, exactly how would you let me know?
First in, I could never love
you
You sound like a richy bitch, yo fuck you!
But if I did, I'd probably show you that I
care,
By takin all these other motha fuckers outta here!
I'd go through your phonebook and
whack em all
And find contestant #1 and break his fuckin jaw! (wha?)
Anyone who looked at
ya, would have to pay
I'd be blowin fuckin nuggets off all day!
Grab your titties, and
stretch em down past your waist
Let go, and watch em both spring up in your face
I'd sing
love songs to ya, the best I can
Get ya naked and hit it like a caveman
Then we'd go
through the beach and walk in the sand
I'd throw a little in your face and say I'm just
playin
As you spit it all out, I'll rub your back
Grab your underwear and wedge it up your
ass crack!!!!
(Host)
Well it sounds like contestant #2 is just overflowing with
sensitivity Sharon,
It's a tough choice so far,
Sharon, let's have your last
question
And see which one is gonna win the right to your neden.
(Sharon)
Ok,
if we were at a dance club,
And you both noticed me at the same time,
Tell me, how would
you each get my attention
And what would your pick up lines be?
Whoever's the smoothest
wins!
Ok, first, I'd slide up to the bar
And tell you that I can't believe how
fuckin fat you are!
I'd tell ya that I like the way you make your titties shake,
And if
you lost a little weight you'd look like Rikki Lake.
Fuck that! You'd be jackin me
quick!
I'd order you a drink, and stir it with my dick
And then to get your attention in a
crowded place,
I'd simply walk up and stick my nuts in your face!
Yeah, freak her
with your nuts, yeah that'll get her!
Tell her that she's fat, yeah, that'll work even
better!
Look, fuck you, I gotta strong rap shit
You don't want contestant #2 he's
mad whack
I walked into a bar, and there he was
Standing on a bucket (eeeuuugghhh) tryin
ta fuck it
It was a big fucking smelly ass farm llama
Damn dawg!
How you
gonna diss yo mama |
